So, you just got dumped. It sucks, it really does. I am here to tell you that there are ways of coping. And no, that does not include eating ice cream and sleeping in a bed of tissues, or turning to any other bad habit. It includes deep emotional change and strength.
Step 1: Get out. No really, GET
OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM/HOUSE/LIVING SPACE. Do NOT sit around and feel sorry for yourself. This allows your mind to take control; you always want to be ahead of your own mind. Do that by hanging out with friends, and your true friends are the ones who understand what you’re going through and do anything to make you feel better. So get out of the house and spend time with those people!
Step 2: Block them. That’s right; block your ex on ALL social media, in case you haven’t already. Trust me, I know you may want to be friends with them, but that makes the pain worse. If you block them on all social media, it prevents you from coming across their name/pictures/posts/etc. This will help you to think about them less and less and you can focus on thinking about your own well-being more and more. Maybe when you have self-improved you can add them back. If they cared about you at one point they will understand your reasoning.
Step 3: Delete their number.
For the LOVE OF GOD, DELETE IT. I really can’t stress this enough. Do NOT TEXT THEM. You will only feel WORSE. I know this step is really hard so it doesn’t necessarily have to be Step 3, but it deserves to be Step 1. It’s so extremely important to remember that they broke up with you so they really don’t want to hear from you, and they probably don’t want to talk to you. So don’t. Just don’t. BUT IF YOU DO. Just remember that NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!! You’re human; also youprobably talked to them every day so it’s HARD not to talk to them at all! So remember it’s okay if you want to text them, but please don’t text them more than once. Please, please, delete their number honey.
Step 4: Pick up a hobby.
Whether it is writing, exercising, art, photography, music, or literally anything else, just spend as much time as you can with these activities, stay busy busy busy busy. They will be rewarding for you if the hobby is that important to you. Remember, you are learning to love yourself, so do something you would personally enjoy. Love yourself, treat yourself to something that is going to fill that void that your breakup so strongly created.
Step 5: Forgive them. Write an “Imaginary letter” to your ex; get out all those bad feelings, avoid sending it, (as I mentioned in step 3, just don’t talk to them at all dude) This is a good step to forgiving yourself, and even forgiving them. This may take more than one keyboard session, it depends on the breakup circumstances, but venting can help you let go of all those cloudy thoughts. You know that you are forgiving them when you finally wish and hope the best for them, no matter where life takes them. You know you forgive them when you see they are happy with someone new, and you’re glad that they finally found someone combatable. You know you forgive them when you eventually stop acting like your dying, and start living, because if they deserve happiness then so do you!
Step 6: Live in the now. If and when you start to feel sad I want you to do something, I want you to stop, close your eyes a few times and then feel every little single thing that is going on right at this moment. The way the air feels the way you’re breathing, what you’re holding, and where you’re sitting. Live. In. The. Now. Take yourself out of the past, it’s far behind you honey, and don’t dwell on the future, it isn’t here yet. Look around. Look at the sunrise and the sunset, enjoy your day, eat good food, feel good feelings. Look at your best friend; tell them that they matter to you. Don’t bottle up anything, look around and find the beauty through the pain. During the relationship you may have been so distracted by your ex to realize how many people truly care about you. Someone believes in you, and you don’t need a partner to tell you that. Your mom, your family, your friends, and your professors all want to see you succeed. Do not let all these people down by letting this destroy you.One important thing to remember when going through a breakup is that sometimes in life, people let you down, maybe for their own personal issues, maybe for yours. Not all relationships are meant to be, and once you fully grasp and accept this, you’ll be living your best life dude. It’s just life, but it goes on, each day is the same as the last, the sun rises and sets, no amount of pain inside of you is going to change that. The healing starts with you, and I hope you take these tools and apply them to that healing. It isn’t easy, but I’m here to tell you, it will be worth it. “Healing is found through time, time is found through patience, and patience is found through experience.”
– Ashley 2k17