By Sarah Brashears, Co Editor-in-Chief
As we approach the new year, the trend has arisen to reflect on this past year of your life.
What worked? What did not work? What still aches for attention?
The pressure to reinvent yourself before Jan. 1 creeps in through promises to exercise more, to eat healthier and to overwhelmingly change every part of your daily routine overnight.
However, before you can truly make any transformations to these small habits, you must answer one question looming in the air: What does it truly mean to be yourself?
For some, it may mean acting without apology. For others, it is about rejecting expectations that never really fit.
In reality, authenticity is much quieter than most realize. It is not a performance or a brand. It is a relationship. One with your own values, your own emotions and your lived experiences.
Being yourself means living in alignment with what is true for you, even when it is inconvenient, imperfect or still evolving.
Experts in identity development describe this as congruence: the sense that your inner world and outer life match. If you laugh at things you do not particularly find funny or nod along with decisions you do not agree with, that congruence breaks. With time, the gap between who you are and how you show up develops stress, resentment and burnout.
Becoming who you are, for yourself, starts by noticing the gap. It requires slowing down long enough to ask uncomfortable questions. Where am I performing? Which parts of my life feel heavy? Which parts of my life feel natural? When do I shrink myself, and why? And maybe the hardest question yet: Who would I be if I wasn’t afraid of disappointing other people?
Let’s be honest, this reflection is not glamourous. It won’t rack up likes. But it is the groundwork needed to build a life that feels honest from the inside. Once you understand what is true for you, your values, boundaries, priorities and desires, every decision becomes a little clearer. It may not always be easier, but it will be clearer.
The next step is action. Becoming yourself is not only a matter of self-awareness but of self-respect. It means creating habits that support your emotional, physical and mental well-being. It means learning to say no without overexplaining, protecting your time, and letting go of relationships or environments that diminish you. It means choosing the sometimes-uncomfortable path that aligns with your growth, not your fears.
Most importantly, when you reflect and take these steps, you need to decide who it is for. Are you doing it for yourself or so that you fit into the box of the people in your life? Do you want to be happier and have a relationship with you for you, or is it so that maybe other people will finally accept you? If you do not choose yourself now, you most likely never will.
As the new year approaches, many people view this season as a fresh start. But the healthiest and happiest version of yourself will not come with an overnigh reinvention. It is built from consistency, and gentle shifts made long before the calendar year resets.
Start by prioritizing rest. A well-rested mind makes clearer choices. Revisit your routines – your mornings, your meals, your screen time, your relationships – and evaluate whether they support or exhaust you. Add practices that fill your cup, not out of obligation, but from genuine care. For me, these look like walking, journaling, stretching, therapy, hobbies that spark my joy and conversation that leave me feeling understood rather than depleted.
Health also goes far beyond the physical aspect. Emotional fitness matters just as much. Are you speaking to yourself with the same compassion and grace you offer everyone else? Are you allowing yourself to feel without judgement? Are you willing to release old narratives that tell you you’re not enough, or that change must wait until January?
The happiest version of you is built on truth, not pressure.
On progress, not perfection.
On small, sustainable choices that prioritize your well-being instead of your image.
If you spend the next several weeks reconnecting with your values, setting boundaries that protect your peace and nourishing your body and mind, you won’t arrive at the new year as a completely different person. Instead, you will arrive as a more honest person. A version of yourself that feels aligned, grounded and capable of taking on the next chapter.
And that is the kind of transformation that lasts.
Do it for YOU.