Challenge of being student and parent

By EMILY WRIGHT

Sleepless nights, unending responsibilities and a schedule that never seems to slow down. Parenthood can be a challenging time for most, especially if they are a college student.

Student parenthood is a varying experience and is never the same for one person.

“I went to school, and I was pregnant,” said Tracy Prats-Hester, project advisor for Student Support Services. “That was difficult; it didn’t feel good and I was exhausted. You have to be motivated to do that.”
Prats-Hester works for the SSS office as a project adviser for students at Northwestern. Prats-Hester was also a non-traditional first-generation student with a young child.

She attended college full time as well as worked full time. She said her challenge as a student parent was time management.

She would have to work, take care of her child, get assignments done and try to find time to sleep during her days as a student.

“Those four things were really, really difficult to do in one day,” she said.

In order to work through this challenge, she relied on schedules and planned ahead in order to have time to spend with her daughter.

On certain days, Prats-Hester would take her daughter to parks, and other days spending time with her was a 30-minute nap as she put her daughter to sleep.

She said she would then get up after those 30 minutes with her daughter to work on homework until 2 a.m.

Fun days out with her daughter were usually planned for once a week because of all the responsibilities Prats-Hester needed to balance.

While these sacrifices were difficult, Prats-Hester said showing her daughter that she was bettering herself was a positive aspect.

“I think that one of the things for me was that being able to go to school and showing my child that I’m trying to better myself, and that you can do this even though it’s difficult,” she said, “and there’s a lot of challenges, that the sacrifice that me and my daughter were making was worth it.”
She said because of that sacrifice she is able to work at the college and make a little more money because of her bachelor’s degree.

Jasmine Miranda, a junior psychology major from Woodward, found that being on campus while she was pregnant was difficult because of the buildings.

Miranda said at the beginning of her pregnancy, navigating campus wasn’t as hard, but as she got into her later trimesters, getting to classes in Vinson Hall and Jesse Dunn became challenging.

Navigating campus was not the only issue. Miranda said her morning sickness lasted until the end of her second trimester. She also had difficulty with employers being understanding of her condition.
Miranda has since moved her education online so she can be with her 2-month-old daughter.
“With online, I mean, I can get stuff done but it just takes some time,” Miranda said, “but to me, it was easier in person because I was able to get assignments done on time.”

She plans to go back to in-person classes next semester and will have childcare assistance from her partner’s family. Miranda said her professors have been understanding of her situation and have worked with her through her newfound parenthood.

A former student experienced a surprise pregnancy in her final semester at Northwestern. Angie Harzman, an alum from New York City, New York, was an active member and major in the music department.

At the end of January in 2022, Harzman auditioned for the spring musical, “The Music Man.” To Harzman’s delight, she landed the lead role of Marian Paroo.

Harzman said that night, however, she decided to take a pregnancy test after feeling strange for several days. To her and her partner’s surprise they discovered Harzman was pregnant the same day she landed the lead role.

Harzman said she was in a panic, as her time at Northwestern was already challenging as she navigated through mental and physical health struggles.

While she said each day she got better, she was still concerned about where she stood with her role in the musical.

“When I found out I was pregnant, I was just like ‘oh, my gosh, they’re immediately going to replace me,’” Harzman said, “like they’re gonna want to take it away from me out of concern because they know when I tend to get stressed, I get sick.”

While the department did consider going with Harzman’s understudy, she went on to fulfill her role as Marian Paroo while nearing 20 weeks pregnant.

Being the lead in the play was not Harzman’s only responsibility, as she was a part of Northwestern’s three choirs, was a student leader in the choir and went on tour with the choir after her graduation.
Harzman said at the time she was frequently exhausted.

“I think that pregnancy is something that’s just not easy to do, I mean for some people they say it’s great, but it was just one of the most challenging times,” Harzman said.

She said she took one day at a time in order to get through her senior year.

“It’s definitely OK to take things one day at a time too, sometimes. I think society puts on the pressure to be so put together and constantly thinking about the future” Harzman said.

Harzman now lives with her husband and son in Pawhuska.

While student parents face a number of hardships, they usually earn similar or higher grades than those of their childless peers. However, they tend to be twice as likely to leave college before obtaining their diploma.

One in 5 undergrad college students are parents, according to a National Postsecondary Student Aid Study. From those students, 70% are mothers while 30% are fathers. Out of all student parents, 2 in 5 are single mothers.

While being a parent in college has its list of challenges, Alva is host to numerous resources.
Hope Pregnancy Center offers confidential pregnancy testing and can help expecting parents find prenatal medical care.

Northwest Family Services offers parenting programs such as, Parents for Teachers, Within My Reach and On My Shoulders, as well as programs for children. Northwest Family Services also offers help with unexpected pregnancies, and can help households figure out the next steps for them.

“This is a safe environment, anyone can come,” said Jimi Lindell, a Parent Educator at NFS.

For children ages 3 to 4, Head Start is available. This program is for low-income families and is a free resource. Head Start allows children to start learning kindergarten curriculum, life and social skills. Head Start also offers resources for parents of enrolled children.

The Alva Public Library also offers programs, which include story times for children 5 and under, Lego Club for 1st-5th grade twice a month, a Discovery Day for 1st grade and younger twice a month as well as a list of other programs.

On campus, Student Support Services are offered to students that are low income, disabled, or first-generation students. SSS can help student parents who meet these requirements receive accommodations that can make going to school and being a student parent easier to manage.