By PIPER GALLAGHER
Every December, the same desserts fill our tables and stomachs. You can find sugar cookies, pies, and layer desserts at my table. One thing you will never find at my table, however, is a fruitcake. Even though some people call it “traditional,” fruitcake continues to be the most disliked Christmas food, and it’s not hard to understand why.
First, the texture is the biggest problem. A good holiday dessert should be soft, warm, or at least pleasant to bite into. Fruitcake is none of those things. It is thick and heavy, packed with sticky candied fruit and chunks of nuts. It feels like the ingredients were mixed together just to see what would happen.
Eating fruitcake doesn’t feel like enjoying a treat. It feels like work.
The flavor also doesn’t help. A Christmas dessert should taste comforting. Fruitcake tastes confused. The fake, bright candied fruit is extremely sweet, while the nuts bring a slightly bitter taste. Sometimes the cake is even soaked in alcohol, which creates even more strong flavors that don’t blend well together.
The final result is something that doesn’t taste like fruit, cake, or anything clear at all. It’s just a mix of things that don’t go well together.
On top of the taste and texture, fruitcake has a long history of being the holiday joke. People make fun of how long it lasts, how hard it is, and Sabrina Carpenter even pokes fun at the dish on her Christmas EP titled Fruitcake.
The real issue, though, is that fruitcake doesn’t match the feeling of Christmas. The holidays are full of treats that feel magical and fun. Think of peppermint bark, warm cinnamon rolls, hot fudge, and frosted cookies. Fruitcake doesn’t stand a chance next to those. It looks dull, feels heavy, and tastes confusing.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas to me, and it should probably stay a dessert of the past.
Although some people argue. They say it’s a long-winded staple in the Christmas dessert scene. Some people truly enjoy it. And maybe most people have only ever tried cheap store-bought versions.
A homemade fruitcake, made with real dried fruit and fresh nuts, can taste much richer and more balanced. When made with care, fruitcake can be more like a flavored bread or a spiced loaf than the brick we’re used to joking about.
Fruitcake may never be the most popular Christmas dessert, but it still has a place at the table, well some tables. Some people look forward to it every year because it reminds them of home, heritage, or holiday memories.
Even if it’s not loved by everyone, there is something meaningful about a dish that stays around because it matters to someone. And honestly, part of the fun of the holidays is having at least one topic of conversation that sparks a playful argument. Fruitcake fills that role perfectly and keeps the season interesting.
Despite these claims, however, it still won’t be on my table during this holiday season, or ever. I’ll look forward to the apple and coconut pies, or the homemade cookies.