by Chuy Dominguez, Student Reporter
Love is in the air! If you’re in the right place that is.
Relationships are heart-warming. They can make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world and that you have constant support by your side. You care about your partner so much you’re willing to do so much for them.
Love can make us feel incredibly happy with that “butterflies in your stomach” feeling when we see our crush on the other side of the room. It’s the feeling we can get as if we’re sipping champagne on the beach and enjoying the slight breeze across the ocean.
You probably heard a quote that goes, “love is patient, love is kind.” Well, love can also be cruel, controlling, abusive, violent and toxic.
Relationships can go so wrong that it can lead to an abusive relationship. Both physical and emotional abusive relationships are the worst types anyone can be involved in.
Toxic relationships can change you. Isolating yourself from your family, friends and workspaces. A distraction of reality, you start to lose focus of your goals and see nothing but darkness ahead of yourself.
It can change the way you view things to an extent. For example, before, you used to love going to the pool and suntanning. But your partner has made you think it’s not good and they don’t want you to be out in public to tan.
This type of behavior is controlling and will progress. You realize you’re watching yourself fail and fall apart so easily. You lose interest in a lot of things and turn down invites from your friends so you can stay at home with your partner; only to slowly stray away from who you used to be as a person just to make your partner happy.
Relationships can also be emotionally, abusive and toxic to the point where it can be unhealthy and self-damaging. It will end up being an abusive relationship either physically or emotionally. Sometimes even both.
Abusive relationships are everywhere, and you don’t always necessarily see them.
In many cases, the toxicity of a relationship can affect your mental health and often lead to depression, social anxiety or suicidal thoughts of not being to be able to leave the relationship. Anyone can walk past someone without knowing what’s going on with the person’s mental health. You could walk up to your friends and have a perfect, small conversation without releasing any tension about what’s going on internally from the mental abuse that is caused by the significant other. Sometimes, we have to let someone know what’s going on in our thoughts.
It is often said emotional abuse is the most destructive type of relationship. Verbally telling someone they are worthless without the partner is a clear sign of emotional abuse.
Controlling behaviors can indicate a form of being emotionally abusive.
Does your partner get upset when you try to go and do something you love? Or are you emotionally drained from the negative radiation that flows constantly in your mind from your partner? What about fighting over every little thing? Smiles don’t always mean everything is OK. But, it can fool others that you’re externally happy even when you’re internally devastated.
You may have avoided seeing some major red flags in the meantime, and that’s OK because it can be a lesson learned.
Learning from experience will teach you to not do the same mistake twice or miss any red flags you may have picked up. Any type of self-destructive behavior should indicate that your partner has insecurities.
What if you know you’re in a toxic relationship and can’t get out?
First of all, it’s OK to feel afraid. That’s the first step in realizing that you need to leave as soon as possible.
The phrase, “the sooner the better” comes to mind in this process.
Usually, some toxic relationships are hard to escape from. Your partner will use sweet-talking as a form of manipulation to make you feel guilty for trying to leave. They will say and try to do everything they can to make you change your mind. Don’t listen or take action on what they’re saying.
Another type of abuse is they destroy any of your property or make threats. This starts to become a serious situation to leave your partner. Block all communication and leave to a safe spot or call a friend.
Retaliation is a form of abuse that your partner will want to be the bigger person to scare you off. If possible, try to be the better person by not letting your partner be destructive.
If you know that you are wanting to leave the relationship, then you got to stick to it and remember why you want to leave.
There are several ways to leave a toxic relationship, simply telling them you want to leave is one.
But what if they still won’t leave you alone? You can always block off all communication by blocking them on every social media platform and avoid contact.
If they continue to follow you around or stalk you, I would advise calling campus police or a trusted adult for safety.
If your partner does decide to grab your arm or do any harm, you should immediately let someone know.
Physical and emotional abuse is no joke. Once your partner has taken the first hit, that is the time when you need to admit to yourself that you’re in danger. Over time, if you are not willing to have an escape plan, it will only progress to a devastating, more dangerous situation. The longer you wait, the harder it is to leave.
If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship or in need of any help, call campus police at (580) 273-8511.
You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or a national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
If you feel that those aren’t in your choice. A texting hotline is always available.
Text “HELP” to 741-741. The numbers are listed to ensure you are safe and are all available 24/7. You aren’t alone. Be the one who breaks the silence.