by Bailey Rankin, Student Reporter
I’m graduating in December.
Typing those words out scares me. In fact, I can’t really feel my legs right now… I’m scared about graduating because then I have to make Adult Decisions™ and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I’ve had this conversation with countless people, “When do you graduate?” In December. “What are you going to do after that?” Oh, you know…something. Those are questions that I get constantly from family, friends and well-meaning people from my hometown that I haven’t spoken to in three years or so.
They are questions that other people ask me, but questions that I rarely ask myself.
And maybe that’s the scariest part, these people are giving more thought to my future than I am.
It’s a wakeup call. They see my time running out before I even realize that the timer has started.
School has always been a constant for me. It had rules for me to follow and I always knew what it expected of me. Work was there too. I had a boss present to let me know if I wasn’t doing some task correctly and they would even give me some advice on how I could improve or fix something.
Life I’m not too familiar with. I feel like as soon as I receive my diploma and walk across that stage, life is going to greet me with open arms, then trip me as I head out into the real world.
When I sit and think about these fears and uncertainties I wonder if I am the only one who has them. Surely not. Surely I’m not the only person who doesn’t have a plan for the future, who doesn’t have a good enough answer for the church ladies, who lies to their parents when they ask if you’re applying for jobs because I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Do.
But then again, maybe I am the only one who does this, because when I look around, all I see are people who have their life together, who know what they are doing and have been doing just that for the past few years. If you are one of those people, I would greatly appreciate it if you would contact me.
Maybe these people are just faking it until they’re making it, because through all of my 23 years I have never felt qualified to “adult”. Maybe I’ll always feel like a lost angsty kid, but hopefully I’ll be a lost angsty kid that makes slightly better money than I do right now. I think we’re all clueless as to how to make it (or at least survive) in this “real world”, in all honesty. And maybe life gets easier, or maybe we just learn how to deal with it all eventually.
So, on Dec. 9 I will graduate. I’ll receive my diploma and walk across the stage, and if you see me stumble as I walk down the stairs, don’t worry, it’s just life trying to keep me on my toes.