By NATALIE SACKET & CHRIS PUNTO
Columnists
This week we were forced into watching a movie we had no business watching. We really didn’t have a choice in the matter. I personally would have rather reviewed Furious 7 again. Our pick this week:
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” (2015).
Chris’ review-
0 out of 5 stars
Do I really have to do this? Fine. Here we go. I hated this movie. The end.
I have to keep going? Okay. So lets talk about why I hated this movie. Terrible acting. Terrible directing. Terrible script. Let’s dive right in shall we?
The acting sucked. Plain and simple. Kevin James, who you may know as the least funny guy in “Grown Ups” (which was already not funny), plays our main protagonist, and I say that word loosely. I would like to state first that I don’t dislike James because he is fat, but I hate that all of his jokes and movies are centered around making fun of his weight. We get it. You like food. I would say that the supporting characters were bad too, but they really aren’t even worth mentioning
Up next we have a so called director doing a terrible job at what I assume he got paid thousands for. This movies style wanted to be an action movie so bad, but what ended up happening was that the directing just added to how outlandish and silly this entire movie was. Leave the cool fighting sequences to the big boys.
The script was no better. I honestly didn’t crack a smile the entire time I was sitting in the theater. Every punch line was predictable and awkward. And the touchy-feely moments between father and daughter were all cliché. “Oh I don’t want you to go to a good school and better your life.” Good parenting there, Blart.
Bottom line: go watch another movie. Go to redbox and rent something. Heck, go to Enid and watch something else. Just do not watch this movie. This movie is not a comedy. It’s not an action film. It is a disgrace.
Natalie’s review-
0.5 stars out of 5
Making a sequel in the film industry is always a big risk. With the exception of some sequels that do a series justice, such as “Lord of the Rings” and “Toy Story 3,” most sequels should just not exist… such as “Mall Cop: 2.”
Now, “Mall Cop” was by no means a cinematic masterpiece or even remotely a success at the box office, so I thought it wouldn’t be difficult for the sequel to be marginally better. I was wrong. I was very, very wrong, and this film was very, very bad.
Much like Paul Blart himself, this movie was uncomfortable, awkward, poorly put together, not at all funny and sweaty. If films could be described as sweaty, this would be the one. There were too many terribly awkward moments that left me cringing. The jokes were about as funny as Chris’ usually are.
I honestly wanted to leave 45 minutes into the film, but in honor of my three loyal readers/fans (my mom and I included) I powered through to the end… and hated every second of it. Laugh count: 0. Eye roll count: 5 trillion.
Bottom Line: Paul Blart believes in security and justice, and if this were a just world, this film would not exist on this planet.