By MICHELLE WILLSON, Features Editor
I don’t know if this is a universal experience, but I have recently been doing okay with my mental health.
But now I am on edge, I know I will have a depressive episode soon — like in the next week.
In preparation, I am trying to get my homework and work done hours beforehand, but I am also worried that it will make me spiral faster if I try to shove all of that in the beginning weeks.
I feel like a ticking time bomb. I know it’s coming, and I swear that someone asking the wrong question could quite literally kick-start the spiral.
How am I supposed to explain this experience to those around me?
I have struggled with mental health for a long time. I have the experience now that helps me be more prepared, but I still struggle with it. It feels weirdly like a never-ending uphill climb.
I say all this not for pity. Just to show that everyone has their own battles. I would consider myself to be very “high functioning” with my mental health, but most of it is just a facade that I put on for other people. It just feels like it’s getting harder and harder to keep up with.
On one hand, I feel like schools are not set up efficiently to help students with mental health issues. But on the other hand, I don’t know how to make it a better atmosphere for mental health.
I know that the teachers here at Northwestern are really easy to work with when it comes to these topics, but the students have to be able to reach out to them individually, and that can be hard to do in a spot where you are struggling.
How am I supposed to email about how I didn’t or won’t get the homework done when I can’t get the energy to do my homework?
To someone looking at my situation, I would look really lazy. I struggle with mental health, but this is almost more than that. Even on my good days, I don’t have the attention span that I need to complete my work to the best of my abilities.
I honestly don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else.
Sometimes it’s hard to even Zoom in to one of my classes. It’s a class that I don’t even have to participate in; I just have to be there, and sometimes, it just takes so much energy.
I don’t understand why everyone puts this glamorous filter over the college experience.